I finally found the letter i've been searching for these past 3 years.
The letter I wanted to prove to me how I've grown or to reevaluate where I've come from.
And I finally found it. Hidden in my old Israeli journal, in a drawer I never open.
The first time I read the letter, I was dissatisfied. I think I wanted more love confessions from him; I wanted to hear why he liked me; I wanted more apologizes.
But today I read it and it was perfect.
It was everything Melanie in 2009 couldn't understand or didn't want to understand.
He told me he would miss me. And he meant it.
He reminded me of my ability to meet people and make friends and be the social butterfly (which apparently I forgot while I was there)..
HE was the insecure one that I would meet someone or that we wouldn't be friends after...which I guess we weren't.
And he told me how much he realized he messed up. And how he was going to make up for it with his semester abroad. Which I guess he did. He made up for it by treating the next girl with everything he had. He really became how he was supposed to be. Because he wanted to.
On the one hand, part of me will always be salty that I primed him and shipped him out to be scooped up as someone else's dream guy. But I'm really happy that I read it.
I probably placed too much blame on him at one point.
I'm really proud of him and how he turned out.
I guess it only took 3 years.