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denail - Yes I Have A Life
May 2nd, 2012
11:50 pm

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denail
He's in denial right?

Why else is his thought process so hard to understand?

Some things make sense
- the candles
-not wanting to skype
-staying away from sexting
-feeling insecure about his inability to get me off
-talking about doing cardio
-talking about "looking good" contracts
-not complimenting me
-me having to remind him to be nice

I never would have thought this would be our downfall. I feel so shattered to know that it is and even worse to know how much I embarrassed myself and pressured to get him to this place.

I appreciate and respect how he cares for me.
I want him to get past this. But I'm realistic.

I waited for one day with patience for us to work it out.
And I'm thankful for every opportunity that we had.

I hate that we may have to cut it short. But I'm promising myself I will be ok.
Whether or not it means I will be in denial, I will be okay.

But please, PS universe. Don't let me lose him. Don't let him lose me. I want this more than I've wanted anything, ever. I love him too much.

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