There are two parts in me right now.
The part that is not that upset because it's been leading up to this for a while, maybe it's not meant to be.
And the part of me that is not that upset because it is meant to be and it will just have to wait.
I miss him and I don't miss him all at once.
My life is wracked with change I am actively avoiding. ACTIVELY avoiding my to dos. Maybe once I begin addressing them, the rest will fall into place.
I keep thinking about all the things I want to do with him. All the experiences we still have yet to have.
That this change will let me to coast until a giant crash. Probably him with someone else.
I'm just praying this works out in my favor. Whatever that favor is.
While I can't imagine any one else, I don't know what choice I have.